Get married through the brokerage center Many foreign brides are “invisible people”. After many years of suffering from an abusive husband, not allowed to leave the house and often starved, Lyly (character has been renamed) – the 30-year-old Vietnamese bride has decided to leave her bad husband. Lyly said her ex-husband, a driver about 60 years old, often beat her when he was angry, drunk or losing money. “I don’t know where the market is, where the bus station is. I have no money and no friends. I ask him for money to spend in the house, but he always asks” What do you need money for? For another guy? “, She shared about her difficulties. Once, he didn’t buy anything for her and their son for a week. Lyly said she took her son away at least 3 times but returned because her husband promised to change. However, Lily continued to suffer violence. He even starved her mother and daughter. Desperate, Lyly turned to the police. Thanks to her shelter, she was referred to lawyer June Lim, who represented her to carry out free divorce proceedings. Lyly has sole custody of his son – who is a Singaporean, 6 years old this year. After the divorce, Lyly’s ex-husband canceled her long-term relative visit visa. However, she was fortunate enough to be sponsored by a friend to be able to stay. “If no one helps, I don’t know what to do,” she said. Not only Lyly, many foreign women married to Singapore face a wide range of issues from domestic violence to poverty and uncertain futures in Singapore. These women seem “invisible and have no voice” because of their immigration status, limited rights, lack of protection by law and difficult access to social welfare. Many people lack understanding of the rights and benefits they enjoy, feel helpless in need of help because they do not know where to go for help. This is partly due to their limited social network in Singapore. They are often financially dependent on their husbands. Some people suffer from marriage violence or conflict for fear of leaving their children if their husbands cancel their long-term relative’s visas upon divorce. Member of a matchmaking company in Singapore. Photo: The Straits Times The government gave “fulcrum” A spokesman for the Lawyers Association Pro Bono said that it is very important that the Singapore Government publicizes its stance on the immigration status of foreigners after divorce. This is a “thoughtful and tolerant” approach by the government of this country, she said. In addition, a spokesman for the Ministry of the Interior (MHA) told The Straits Times that widows, spouses or divorced Singapore citizens have the right to custody of children under the age of 21. They are allowed to live in Singapore on a long-term visitor visa until the child reaches 21 years of age. Although the former Singaporean spouse cancels the visa extension, they can still be sponsored by another Singapore citizen or permanent resident over the age of 21. At the age of 21, children can sponsor foreign parents to stay. Since December 2018, the Pro Bono Lawyers Association and Ms. June Lim – CEO of Eden Law Firm – have started the LEAF Project (Empowerment and Legal Support for Foreign Spouses). . The LEAF project is now part of a Family Justice Assistance program that helps noncitizens or Singapore permanent residents with marriage matters. The project aims to provide free assistance to a spouse who is a foreigner who meets a number of conditions, for example with a per capita monthly income of S $ 950 or less. They decided to start this pilot scheme because foreign spouses with children in Singapore are a “particularly vulnerable” group. They often depend on their partner for all aspects of their life. They may not have anyone to help them in the face of home violence or a broken marriage. In many cases, they also do not have any other friends or relatives in Singapore, they just have to look to charities like LEAF to stay. To avoid unfortunate things from happening, the Singapore Department of Family and Social Development has introduced a marriage support program for couples of different nationalities to help them have a strong marriage foundation. The program offers classes that teach English or Mandarin for the brides, give instructions on how to communicate, deal with conflicts in a multicultural setting, as well as tips on living in Singapore. Source: Straits Times, Sixth Tone

Illustration She tried to take a deep breath and exhale evenly. This way she learned from her friend. Outside, the voice of her mother-in-law was ceaselessly cruel: “Obviously disgusting, there are a few letters that I wanted to rebel. Men, people are part, so we must know our fate! There were people who took the beating like rice, but still tried to keep the door warm, over here, there were only a couple of slaps that made me spoiled. women and girls have to know how to endure, make sacrifices, a little bit struggling like leeches, if they need to be lime, they have to break up early “. Mother-in-law said it for a while and then went out of the house. Sitting alone in the room she has been attached to for the past 10 years, tears began to fall. She buried her face and bit her teeth in the pillow and cried. “Cry, just cry. Cry to wash away the gloomy days,” her friend once told her. This fourth time, she will unilaterally apply for a divorce. Illustration Yesterday, she went home to talk to her parents about her divorce problem. She just opened her words, instead of asking her son the cause of being upset, her father rolled his eyes: “This house does not leave her husband. You are a teacher, teach people, now you leave your husband. Who do you teach? I told you not to listen, you leave your husband and then go anywhere. The sandy soil I have changed to the red book name for your two brothers, so you don’t have anything “. Her mother just kept silent, crying and crying: “How can you be so miserable when you eat and study!”. She belongs to the second half of 8X generation but is still deeply ingrained in her mother’s old thought. Remembering the day when she returned to her husband’s house, it was only because of the mother’s admonition that “the boat follows the driver, the girl follows her husband. If a woman steps to marry, she will live as her husband’s family, die is her husband’s ghost” but she is single because husband, blind sacrifice. After completing the Pedagogical University, after graduating from school, she asked to return to the commune secondary school to teach near her home. Having been teaching for nearly 2 years, researching through matchmaking, she nodded to marry him because … just near the house, the family has conditions. He only finished high school and his parents allowed him to open a shop selling electrical appliances. His work is favorable, the couple is well-off economically. Anyone outside can see that her life is happy and peaceful. But only “in the blanket will know that the blanket has lice”. Patriarch, selfish and unjustifiably jealous. Knowing her husband is jealous, she is always withdrawn, minimizing meetings and contact. Even having to receive male and female parents is absolutely avoided. All her life, she dared not go to class meetings and halls because … he did not agree. Many times she gently analyzed and explained to him to understand, but he refused to listen. Wherever she went, she refused to ask him to go with him. She knows, deep down in his heart, he has a little self-esteem because he “does not study as much as her”. She has told him countless times that it is important that husband and wife love, understand, and respect each other; that she is always grateful because he is good at making money, and is an economic support for her mother and daughter. At first, hearing his wife say, he just hummed, after giving birth, he scolded her for “many words” and blamed her for the crime of liking … “teaching her husband”. Since then, she chose to be silent and pamper him. She still tells her students about the woman’s self-esteem and confidence. During the extracurricular lessons, she taught her children about gender equality, the criteria of a modern woman … Watching her children attentively, her eyes filled with dreams, her heart was excited but every time she turned home, she finds herself petty again. Once, passing by a group of students, she overheard a female student say to her friends: “That’s all for my aunt at school, but at home it is not different from me, afraid of her husband …”. She felt numb. The day before, he came home from late drinking, did not know who said, but he asked her to … quit teaching. He said, when she went to teach, she paid three poles and three dong, she didn’t have enough money for electricity and water, just stay at home to cook and look after her children, she would have everything. Knowing he was a bit of a gas, she did not argue. Seeing her silent, he thought she agreed. The next morning, she stole her schoolbag, he pulled back, threw her stuff. He slandered her and then gave her the conditions to make her choose: “Either profession, or family”. He was so unreasonable, she couldn’t take it anymore. And for the first time after 10 years of being his wife, she firmly protested. He took the right to be a husband, thinking that she was a mess, so he beat her to … teach. She looked back at herself, she never seemed to know how to live and love properly. With him, she only knew obedience and silence. Yesterday, she found a small house to rent. I will move out there while waiting for the court to settle. He tore 3 divorce papers in front of her with the statement: “You can’t leave me to death”. But this fourth time, she will unilaterally apply for a divorce. Living together or divorced? Both solutions suffer. And I will choose less painful solutions, to have the right to love myself.