Whether we are interacting with friends, coworkers or other important people, there are some tips for relationships that we all should put first and foremost.
Whether we are interacting with friends, coworkers or other important people, there are some tips for relationships that we all should put first and foremost. Here are three things we do unconsciously but can damage your relationships.
1. Giving advice at the wrong time
How many times have you felt compelled to give advice to someone even when not asked? This mistake in communication often comes from love and concern. When you love someone, you want them to be better, and that’s okay. But the fact that we often give unnecessary advice will often backfire.
It always happens in relationships when we really want to help the person improve, but don’t think about whether they need our advice or not. “Honesty is the best policy”, but sometimes we take it too far. If you hear yourself trying to say, “I think you should …” or “This isn’t good about you,” notice, you may be about to give some advice that others don’t want to hear.
Appropriate approach: If you feel that it’s important to advise someone, you have two options for how to approach your audience. You can ask for the person’s opinion and get his or her permission, before giving advice, or you can try to reassure them that your advice is constructive.
Asking someone for advice doesn’t always work because that person may say they don’t want to hear these things. If they don’t want to hear what you have to say, the only thing you can do is keep quiet and let the person figure it out on his own.
2. Ignore their feelings when they need you
Our emotions fluctuate often and, unfortunately, we cannot be happy all the time. We may feel stressed at work, sad at something happened, or frustrated by not getting what we want. The greatest sadness comes from feeling that the person who should know us best cannot recognize our painful feelings.
Imagine your spouse comes home from a stressful day at work. You have not even let them tell your story, immediately give advice. You think you are helping them and trying to fix the problem for them. But that approach has never been highly effective.
Not only do you fall into the first mistake of giving advice at the wrong time, you are also seen as ignoring the other person’s needs at the time. Your ex may want to discuss or solve problems with you sometimes, but when they come home from a tiring day, the only thing they need is to be heard.
Appropriate approach: Respect the other’s feelings by listening to them. Use proactive listening and avoid trying to fix the problem for them right away. Even if the problem seems minor to you, avoid trivializing their emotions. You can help him or her find solutions later, but at first just acknowledge their thoughts and feelings.
3. Don’t give any advice to the other party
If the past problems have been about giving too much information, then there are many people who are mistaken in not giving any advice.
Imagine your ex coming to you to suggest a place for your anniversary. Instead of listing a few options with them, you answer by: “I / I don’t know” or “It depends, you are fine with whatever you choose.”
You think you are showing comfort and flexibility, but that is not the message you are sending to the other person. He or she comes to you because they want suggestions and advice from you and answers like don’t care or don’t want to take any responsibility for decision-making that really makes others feel uncomfortable. bear. You don’t have to come up with a definitive answer, but they want to see that you are willing to come up with some contributing ideas about the problem in general.
Appropriate approach: When someone asks for your response, take a moment to review their request. You don’t have to solve the problem for them, but you can help them think about the situation from a new perspective.
You must log in to post a comment.